For whatever reason, today I believe that I can run farther and faster. Today I believe that I'm strong enough to accomplish everything I want to do. I feel like this belief comes and goes in strong waves, or rides very high and then dips very low. But I think if I stepped back and looked at the pattern, it would be more of a looping, winding path that, from a birds eye view, is dancing forward in its' own way.
I have been lucky enough to have a couple of weeks out of my usual routine and, in addition, was able to attend my second Endeavorun Running Camp. I had it set in my mind what this trip was going to be and what it was going to produce, and I'm sure I'll surprise no one by saying that it really didn't go as planned. But it's more than okay that life is bigger than my imagination. I am heading home feeling my ongoing commitment to running so deeply, in spite of not being in top form. I had a call with my coach this morning and he asked, after six years, what it is that is keeping me here--what is keeping me commited to running to the degree that I am? And the answer is I don't know and I know I'm supposed to. There is some mystery in the middle here that I cannot name or put my finger on, but it keeps me hooked, and that's good enough for me. I learned so much this past weekend about what I've got dialed in and I also learned where there are gaps in my training. Mostly, once again, the bond with running grew even deeper. I'm supposed to be doing this and I don't know why, but I guess that running has more than one avenue of purpose, and I fit on one of those avenues.
What I know for sure is that I got my marching orders. I know what I'm supposed to do in terms of running, in terms of writing, and even in life in general. I know that there is mystery in the middle of all of it, and I'm lucky for that. That's the piece that is bigger than my imagination and delivers experiences that leave me feeling that I can run faster and farther, and that I'm strong enough to accomplish everything I want to do.
They dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows. -Robert Frost